Addison, just read your heartfelt dilemma, but It's not all as bad as it appears to be.
You have 2 choices by which you can keep your family - either carry on faking it as an active JW, (intolerable!) or, start to fake it as a JW who is having serious spiritual/psychological problems.
Miss field service and meetings at your own pace and become inactive as soon as you can. The latter option - if you perform well - may get you the sympathy vote from family members and friends.